Tonight I found a missing link…not THE missing link, but A missing link. There was no huge research budget, no years in the making (well…maybe…..)…no committee or anything. It kind of just ‘happened.’
I went to a lake 5 minutes from the hotel. Packed my backpack w/ my CD player, some worship CDs and other Christian CDs that speak to me, my Bible, my journal, my camera, some munchies….and wasn’t sure what I’d find. I took pics of the warnings about alligators. Ventured out, toting the backpack, not sure which way to go. Walked on the walkway, too pics, but that was an isolated area. I wanted to WALK! So I went around the corner & found the walking/bike path and started on my longer adventure. The road in front of me was just a little higher than the water…I balked a bit and could just imagine my ‘luck’ being the one who ‘happened’ to be on the path when an alligator decided to take a short-cut. Rewind.
Just at that bridge was another path with a wonderful wood walkway with guard rails that literally disappeared into the woods. It was calling my name! It was high and seemed secure (though I did pray a lot for protection because I was isolated and if a looney wanted to cause trouble there was no escape and no alligator nearby to save me), so I went on an adventure. It kept going. It always seems longer on the way there than on the way back. It twisted and turned and bent….and eventually came to a stop. I found my oasis…a table & benches…secluded. I unloaded (I drank 1/2 my Coke on the way and was pretty sweaty but I didn’t care!).
For the next hour I listened to a worship CD, danced on the deck (and yes, a couple people saw me and heard me….OH WELL!….I haven’t danced in worship for a long time and it felt GREAT!)…I wrote in my journal, I prayed, I took over 100 pics….and the lightbulb went on. The missing link made itself known. It has been years (literally) since I have spent extended time with the Lord alone doing just what I was doing. No wonder my heart feels so messed up and my bucket has holes letting the water leak out as soon as it’s poured in! I used to get extended time every month…sometimes every week. And the cares of life have crept in and stolen it.
Something has to change. I’m not quite sure what yet. But I do know that for those 90 minutes I felt free….refreshed….like my lung capacity expanded for a bit. I realized all the more how restrained I’ve become – even in my expression of worship at church. I’ve got a long way to go. I don’t have this ‘together.’ If anything I’m realizing how much greater the mess is and how much more I need God to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
I’ve always loved Russ Taff’s music. I relate to it. And tonight I felt God ‘Breathe Life Into Me.’ Breathe more, God…fill the holes in my bucket……fill me up.