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Pressure to Write About Being Under Pressure

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The schedule has been pretty crazy lately – well, ever since PT began in August. It was for 12 sessions but at 2 per week plus a week off until we had the MRI results that makes it drawn out to a 7 week ordeal. AND we’re not sure I’m done yet. I have a session tonight and next Tuesday and a return trip to the doc next Thursday. There’s a strong desire to be off crutches by then. My physical therapist wants it for me. I want it for me. Doc wants it for me. The question becomes will my leg be ready for it.

I have been given the green light by PT to do as much as it will let me and I’ve been doing well and seeing improvements. Earlier this week I made a significant trip to the warehouse with just one crutch (still using the golf cart). But my leg is faithful to tell me when I’ve done too much. It yells at me. Loudly. Quickly. Fiercely. That day (Tuesday) I sat at my desk for 3o minutes or so with an ice pack.

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We did a different taping with the kinetic tape – right around the knee to support the medial side (inner side) where the pain is. The hamstring by and large is fine……still needs some strengthening and cramps a little after being in the car 10-15 minutes but no real pain or discomfort. It’s all about the knee right now. Anyway, the tape made a difference and we leave it on a few days. I took it off this morning and almost immediately felt the absence of the support it had been given. There was an ache and a little pain but it seemed to subside though I was a little more gimpy at the office than I had been. Made it up and down the steps with the crutches and at one point it seemed to be doing better so I thought I could  make it down without the crutches since I was just going to the office at the bottom of the steps (lead with the bad leg and bring the good leg behind, one step at a time, not consecutive like usual). Until….2 steps down I felt this sensation in my knee….a familiar sensation…..a painful sensation….and I stopped. And this happened (see image of text). And my rescue came minutes later and I have been keeping my friends Peg and Leg nearby ever since. But PT is going to teach me the taping technique so I can do it on my own. Cool!

I think the biggest pressure I feel right now – besides getting off these stupid crutches – is just keeping things in balance. As previously shared my mortgage went full amortization this month so an additional $238 dollars comes out of my pocket every month. But at least now I’ll start to build up some equity! I have been diligently reworking the budget and renegotiating costs and have been pretty pleased. I have met my goal and it was a joy to make that first payment without pressure of ‘how do I pay the rest of the bills until payday’. But with all my calls and such a couple

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And then there’s the eating. My ‘care quotient’ has dropped the last few weeks and I haven’t spent much mental energy on meal planning so that only hurts the cycle all the more. My dietician and I had a good conversation this week and as I asked a question she got a quizzical look on her face, a small

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Between PT twice a week and the dietician once a week, three of the four week nights are already accounted for with appointments and when I’m not getting home until 7p – which is when we like to eat by – it’s a bit of a challenge to get home, fix dinner, eat dinner, clean up from dinner and then try to relax for a bit before going to bed….and that doesn’t count if Mom needs a foot treatment done because the nurse couldn’t make it or whatever. So when my counselor asked about finding a different time to meet due to some schedule issues I wasn’t surprised that it’s taken 2 days and about 10 emails back and forth to maybe come up with a time — just for this week! Hopefully that will settle soon too!

By and far my biggest pressure relief is in 3 weeks…in fact 3 weeks from today I leave for the Walking Stick Retreat.

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But even when things seem crazy and hectic and what not I remember this: 2 Corinthians 4:8-12New International Version (NIV)

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

The pressure may be there but it’s for a greater purpose and it won’t destroy me.

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