I read a great quote on a blog: “Maybe this is why Rich signed his autographs “Be Gods”? That’s where many of us get confused about a testimony. A testimony isn’t ours. That’s a biography. A testimony is Gods story through your story. Not the other way around.” (http://davidleoschultz.wordpress.com/)
Pretty powerful thoughts. And my thoughts started going.
I think I just had a paradigm shift. I wasn’t looking for one. I didn’t think I needed one. But God did. It wasn’t anything long-winded. But it was deep. And profound. Challenging. And potentially life-changing.
“My” testimony isn’t mine. Um…let me get this right….’my’ story isn’t mine? Then by all means tell me whose it is! My story is quite the story. There are a lot of characters. It’s wrought with drama and heartache and laughter and discovery and questions with elusive answers. It has the making of a great movie script…a real feel good at the end movie. And I could even play myself. I mean…who else but ME knows my story best, right?
Oh, but wait. That’s right. Now I’m being told it’s not mine. And in a snapshot – in the ‘blink of an eye’ – my story changed. Or is it Someone else’s story changed? I don’t want to get twisted in that. I just know the story changed. Because the focus changed.
I have to admit…I am very cautious with whom I share my story. There’s some intense stuff in it that I don’t necessarily want to shout from the rooftops. And because of that, I’VE controlled what I share. And when I share it. And with whom I share it. And I’ve been wrong. Because that attitude makes it ‘my’ story. It makes it about me. And ‘my’ testimony shouldn’t be about me. It should be about Him.
So let me cut to the chase…..here’s where I’m landing with this thought after just 30 minutes of starting to chew on that quote: I do not have the right (or permission from the Author) to edit the story He is writing. It’s not my choice what to share. It’s my role to simply follow where He leads…to die to my fears and hesitations and inadequacies…and let Him tell the story He’s writing. I just get to be the vessel, the conduit, the voice. My job is to just open my mouth and let Him fill it with His words. To tell His story.
So suddenly ‘my testimony’ has become HIS story. I had ‘said’ it before -that my ‘story’ was to bring Him glory. But I’m guilty of holding back. And that means that ‘my testimony’ was really – at the deep level – about me and not Him. And that has to change. That scares me. But it’s really the only correct response. I don’t want to tell a biography. I want to share His testimony of His work in my life. Because He’s been VERY busy and very creative. And that’s a story worth telling.